In fifteen minutes, I know I will have passed the security test by showing my identification to the bouncer. I will be inside and making my way to the changing rooms; offering anyone behind me deliberate wiggles of my bottom, not that anyone will see me in the dark corridor. But once inside I become sexy, horny, wanton.Once in the changing rooms, I will slowly strip off my garments and place them in the locker. If someone is already there I will wait and watch and make small-talk with them. I love the ones that tell me it’s their first time, I find that so raunchy to know, so invigorating, so exciting.It’s true to say that by the time I’m naked, my now smooth pussy is soaked. I usually sit on the benches, back against the lockers, legs wide apart, and stroke a finger over my sex parting my lips without any trouble and gathering up the hot fluid that sticks to them. I usually suck on my finger after I torment myself and I feel my heart rate triple and my nipples stiffen. My hands. They seemed to mock me.There is no clown in this circus, I had said. Now I wasn't so sure. At the Excelsior I saw Myriam look and behave as I haven't seen her ever do before. Certainly not in public. She loves to dress tastefully, never provocatively. She sometimes goes without a bra, as she doesn't really need one. But she never shows her chest off in a low—cut and flimsy dress, let alone in one as outrageous as she was wearing in that lounge.The man seemed secure of her. He knew that all her attention was for him and to him. He owned her affection. Sex with Myriam had always been important to me, but even more special was the intimacy. By sharing that, she betrayed me the deepest and hurt me the most. When I witnessed their calm closeness I knew Myriam wasn't mine anymore. She was all his and she probably had been for a long time. All those moments, hours, eternities that I had considered ours, she had been someone else's. At best, I'd had her on time—share.I started pondering.
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